I got drunk and cheated on my husband reddit. I’m 38 and have been married for nine years, and soberly I have never considered cheating on my husband. Short of being drugged or having sex while unconscious, you're solely responsible for getting so drunk you cheated on your boyfriend. 7 days on the cruise and everything was going well, until one evening my wife wanted to go to the late night club. I have been with my husband for 18 years now, 12 of them dating and 6 married. Last weekend on my trip in Atlanta, things got kinda My husband didn't know what to do with this at first. I am going through a crisis of my life and need some help in figuring things out. Not sure it is defined as cheating, but boy it is bad. I was in the same position as your husband with my now ex-husband. But I was planning on leaving him. I got completely blacked out drunk (I only have spotty details from about midnight on) and yes, hooked up with an old high school friend whom I'm not even attracted to. Sit him down tell him you have to talk about something serious. However, it has been related to fear of/paranoia about cheating on multiple occasions. My partner was drunk, and decided to cheat. I couldn’t deny it any longer and I admitted My husband and I have been married for 5 years, together for 9. Somewhere along the way, things got stale, as they do after you have kids, get comfortable in your roles with each other, etc. I denied it. I’ve been through the depths of hell with my mental health and not once did I ever even THINK about cheating on my husband, not even with how much I hated him, not with how completely alone I felt in my marriage. I didn’t want them to know and view me in a bad light. I had no excuse, I have no one to blame but myself (although the dude was supposed to be my friend so I was a little pissed at him), and I told my husband about it at literally the first opportunity. It wasn’t easy. Hmmm so about say a year or so later we had a deeper discussion and she said that it was something she looks back on negatively but she also said she needed it and she felt had it not been then it would have been someone else (which it was many times after in the year and a half but we sort of un spokenly turned it into trying to have a open thing for her). She cheated again. She blamed me. When I saw he hadn’t showed up at home I freaked out and called him, after about an hour he finally picked up and said he was on his way home. He decided to wave his penis around in my face and resting it on my chest and my lap. He deserves better. Last night I got drunk, stayed at a friend's house partying all night, and hooked up with a girl that was there. So that’s all I really knew. I know what I did is wrong, and I know the pain I caused my husband. ). a few days ago a friend and some people she knew invited me out. The weirdest thing happened, my ex and I Started kissing and had sex. I got home and my husband was asleep with my daughter in his arms. Thank you! I appreciate that. You damn sure don't respect him. there was a lot of touching going back and forth. 4K votes, 370 comments. He confronted me. Jan 24, 2020 · After a few months of living there, I went to a party and I got really, really drunk. " May 9, 2021 · Hello everyone. My tastes had changed and I found myself falling in love with my husband but for real this time. After a few drinks we were having a great time dancing and socializing. we have a beautiful 5 year old daughter together & are both recovering drug addicts . I started following him to his car and was actually close to getting in but then reality hit me again and I felt so terrible for what I did. He completely ghosted me after this (which is good) and we never saw each other again. Please read all of this as some of it can come off as harsh but I do wish both you and your husband nothing but the best. Here's the story: We have been married for 13 years and have 2 kids. My husband and I have both agreed that if either of us cheat, the relationship is OVER—there is no repairing it . It’s a tired excuse and I’m sick of people acting as if it’s beyond their control. When my boyfriend was away, I ended up having a one-night stand with my boyfriend's cousin's husband, who is 35. I tell my husband EVERYTHING and he does the same. Hello redditors, I have made a humongous mistake and it's eating me up. (Ok maybe not a lot) Im not a heavy drinker and i just get easily drunk in just two shots so (150-175ml) Basically she got drunk and was trying to help her bff hook up with some guy but that guy also had a friend and they ended up going to a hotel and had a one night stand, she then lied to her husband that she was staying over at said bff's place. So my family and I just returned from the Caribbean. By some karmic twist of fate my husband’s new friend was the guy I kissed all that time ago. A few months ago however my husband’s best friend made a new friend and introduced the guy to their group. It wasn't what he was used to. So I planned my exit to leave my husband. I know being completely drunk is no excuse, but this is not me Reddit. I don't want to excuse my actions, but I was feeling pretty disconnected from my boyfriend at that time and made a terrible decision. I was speaking on the phone with him the next day and could tell something was wrong- he started crying and admitted to cheating. You have to prove your renewed loyalty and devotion and trustworthiness to your husband. Her house is a disaster. I woke up and my husband wasn’t home, he had gone out the night before with some friends and I stayed home with our 1 year old baby. So I'll tell you what you should do , you should piss off and leave that man alone bcuz no one needs a disgusting piece of shit like you in their lives. I found out he improved a lot. He said we could still spend time together but a few days after he got upset again and says he doesn’t wanna see me. ” So I’d leave it at that. I also got drunk another few times with some of my exes and their friends (their friends invited me over, not my exes) and slept with my exes. It’s not easy. When we got back I found out my friends had arranged for strippers to meet us at the condo. Apparently it is. I checked the footage and my wife had the neighbor husband and wife couple and they were drinking and having a good time. I was a little drunk and peer-pressured but I continued to handle it. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t wish it never Just give him time. My husband has always exhibited some degree of paranoia, but not just about cheating. I was livid and felt broken like you. My husband cheated on me when I was pregnant with our first kid together I stayed but we had our ups and downs it took 10 years just to get where we are at now but there are time I still think his going to cheat on me we have been together for almost 18 years and married for 16 years this October. He told them everything and they’re obviously angry at me. Triggers still happen. Recently my husband found out because he went through ny phone and saw a video the guy had sent me of us two having sex. If you want to win your husband back after the affair, immediately cutting off communication with the other person is crucial to the healing process of your relationship. This time she got pregnant and didn't tell me until the baby was 6 months old. Prior to this, she was an amazing partner. He estimated he had already had about 3 drinks (my husband drinks fast, he can even down coke or lemonade fast I don’t get it but yeah) and he doesn’t know how many shots but it was a lot. We decided this because a lot goes into cheating , prior to it happening. Cheating doesn’t just happen , there’s a process that takes place first. I have been married to my husband for more than 17 years. This went on for hours and they got hammered drunk. I often end up finding my own way back home anyway, so I decided to stay out and enjoy myself solo. i hate going out but decided to just go as i hadn't left the house in a while. Why would she confess him and bu cheating what does that means, did she kiss the guy fuck the guy or was going thru a bad time and met someone that meant nothing, there are a lot of variants here and depending the extent of them you could ask the advice, im not condoning cheating in any shape of form but is very different a drunk kiss that means nothing to a full extend affair with sex Since my husband is on Reddit I made this account to stay anonymous. And I can honestly I love the guy even more now that we have spent so much time together and he feels the same. Your girlfriend did drink to much and you shouldnt absolve her of the cheating just because she was drunk to be honest. The first time my husband cheated on me, he had no reason. Don't blame the alcohol. She confessed a week later. But he never told me that he slept with his mail ordered slut. Her plan the whole time was to separate us because she believed I was the one keeping him from her even though I kicked him out multiple times. This is not in my personality at all. I always found cheating to be the hottest fantasy possible, and have been on all 3 ends of cheating. The conferences suck. Alcohol affects us in different ways but, for me, the second that I started drinking, I became flirtatious and Feb 5, 2020 · “Last spring, I started a project with a colleague. I went out last night with my husband and had too much to drink. Husband wants to check your emails or phone from time to time? Bring it on. he got so drunk because he was drinking in the cab on the way to the party, he had a shot and a drink on arrival. Supportive, loving, all around great. She did not have contact with this individual prior, or after the act. I have been financially supporting him for most of my marriage while he is in college - which is something we agreed to but something that I completely resent TL;DR: Learned my husband cheated on me with my own mother two days before we got married. Last week at a work party, I got very drunk and ended up waking up in the morning in my coworker's bed. We argued and went back and forth for awhile, and then he called my parents after I begged him not to. You told him you didn't want to, he continued anyway and you felt trapped and unable to stop it. I didn't tell my soon to be husband and tried to forget them. i went and drank too much and my friend and her friends kept pointing out some guy i should "do". We worked together to get “us” back. so fast forward two months after i moved in with him and he starts acting weird. you are the one who broke your vows, not As a married woman, I would never cheat on my husband—intoxicated or sober. I just want to die. Oh yes the clasic excuse : ,, I got drunk and had no idea what was I doing" this excuse is on the same level as : ,, my dog eat my homework". less lovey dovey on my, he’s keeping his phone more private so i decide to go threw with while he I’m sorry you’re going through this. she is an adult and what she chooses to do is her business, not yours. I suspect you won't tell him, either. Finally he got a old of my phone and read texts and saw pictures. Anyway recently i started developing problems using the restroom and assumed it was a kidney stone and didn't think much of it until I started really having pain down there, after finally going to the doctor they told me I was positive for chlamydia and gave me the medication to So, I told my fiancé that I cheated with my ex when he got home and he’s just as upset as I thought he would be. Now at 32, the kind of men I used to be into now repulsed me. My actual update will be brief, but I first want to thoroughly address what you guys said on my first post. It is crossing a huge boundary and is MASSIVELY WRONG. My husband started to suspect me when I came home drunk from a company function one Friday night. the first year of my relationship was the best , we never argued, never fought, we were madly intoxicated with each other we started living together right away after I met him because I was Edit: I would like add that I am and have been completely faithful to my husband since that night. No one does anything drunk that they haven't thought to do sober. I felt relieved because for once this guy was completely out of my life and I got to move on. I am seeking advice on my situation. As someone who got themselves into a very similar situation I can tell you how it went for me. My marriage was oeefect. After since that will get his attention, tell him you are F**king others and he simply has to accept it. In some ways, your cheating was both better and worse on him. Cheating is mental abuse. There are only two options. Drunk drivers don't get a pass because of their drunkenness because they got so drunk they made poor decisions. We have one child together and have been dating since college. Now, my husband and I have worked through it and everything is back to normal for the most part now. By fall, sharing thoughts and dreams all day, every day, spiraled into what I’m assuming is an emotional affair (texts, emails, etc. She seemed remorseful and cried and little by little admitted further wrongdoing. He took my hand and placed it on his penis. His past 2 relationships he has cheated but never with me. Your poor husband. Approximately, 4 years ago I started having an affair with a former Co-worker. I knew I was wrong, I knew I had betrayed my entire family but I did it anyway. I saw my partner after that and we talked and engaged in many arguments. We ended up going to the beach in the night, we talked, cried got drunk and had sex in the car. We are both in our thirties and have been discussing having kids. My sister is still with her husband. true. My husband of 4 years cheated on me about two weeks ago. It wasn’t the alcohols fault, that it happened. A few months ago I did the standard, stupid, lame, cliche, "I got drunk and made out with a male friend" thing. My husband saved the video to his phone. About a week after this kiss, my partner and I get into an unrelated fight that ended up with me leaving Our apartment. . That is why I said you need to be truthful to yourself and not tell your husband you fell victim to some super predator. I promised myself that I would tell my husband, but every time I tried, I was too weak-minded. So my work requires me travel fairly often, about once every six weeks, to attend very boring conferences. We mostly have a very open relationship, where we can talk to each other about many things. We worked hard. We worked together intimately for upwards of ten hours a day, and it was something we were both hugely passionate about. You wanted to do this. My wife cheated on me five years ago with a guy she met on Tinder. He shouldn’t have to walk around a drunk and others not know why. I was preparing to move. No sex, just making out/feeling each other up, but that doesn't make it any better. 3 years ago I cheated on my husband with a younger colleague. May 15, 2017 · Yeah, you may have gotten drunk to reduce your inhibitions but it seems like you purposely stayed in that bar to fulfill your desire to have sex with another man before you got drunk. Trust has to be re-earned. Nobody that truly loved someone could do what I did. i told them there was no way in hell id cheat and they dropped it for a while and drank some more (i know i a little back story, my boyfriend (23m) and i (18f) started dating in august of last year and 3 months after that my mom kicked me out and my boyfriend took me in. Background: I have a sexless marriage. We got through 3 years of long distance relationship just 1 year after we started dating, and then again a year of long distance because of my job. I drank a few glasses and he came over asking me to dance, I told him I can't do it because I was married. His friends hired 2 escorts for my husband to choose from, he chose the “better looking one”. I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 years old we are both now 23 turning 24 at the end of this month. My husband came to get me and walked in on us. my D+i+s+c+o+r+d - jerin7x Def it would be the end for me. On the 3rd week after we got married he got really drunk that he grabbed a knife threaten me with it & ripped off my shirt. I also realized that at the time I really didn’t love my husband. Better because it was not done maliciously to hurt him over some real or perceived grievance. Yeah, I know, it's awful, and I regret it deeply. About 3 months ago, I cheated on him with my coworker once and immediately regretted it. You got drunk with a female that said she was into you, you got more drunk together, took her to your home, and shared a bed with her. The rage blackouts have occurred two times in our relationship (more in other aspects of my life, but I'd like to focus on these ones), and the drunk overreacting has occurred almost monthly. The other night, my husband got drunk and started telling me that the only possible way to fix our relationship is if I "admit what [I've] done. Then you Just say to him: "Life is too short and so are you" . You did not set out thinking, "I am going to cheat on my husband. His wife also found out and got in touch with my fiancé (They probably f*cked in retaliation) and together they discovered everything about me and her husband, she So me and my wife have been together for 5 years total, married for 3 of the 5 years, we have 2 children together. Now, I did get pretty trashed and somehow lost track of them, but that's not unusual. " let’s get one thing straight: your sister did not betray you. Did you feel guilty? I knew, in my heart, that it was wrong. Our entire marriage has been sitting on that lie. Jul 13, 2018 · But he would never directly ask me. It only lasted a month before my husband came home from work for his lunch break and caught us. My husband and I had fallen into an all to common mid-thirties routine of work, kids and I cheated on my husband not once, but twice. My wife and I had pretty shitty upbringings and I was not about to let my kids go through that. There was just a post on here recently where a guy found out his brother cheated on his wife years ago, intentionally (not a drunken mistake), and soooooo many people were calling him TA becaus he wanted to tell her. He cheated on her after she gave birth to their second baby because “she wasn’t giving him attention anymore”. It was the most humiliating and devastating few years of my life. It happened on a business trip after I had a few drinks with this colleague and clients. I had a perfect husband who loved me and cherished me . We have gone through some pretty bad times together, but are happier than ever now. When I woke up, I got dressed and took a long walk home. I got a separate place. Afterwards, when I hear what I've said and how I've acted, I'm mortified over what I've done as it’s the exact opposite of what my normal personality is. Not amorous except with my husband. I had a good sex life and two beautiful he was out the country for a few weeks. I don't know what to do. But it wasn't my fault. Pretty shocked right now…my first night I was out of town for a quick weekend trip and my spouse cheated on me. AITA for getting drunk and cheating on my husband after 6 years?Acronym: Meaning:YTA You're the AssholeNTA Not the A-holeESH 1. Suddenly the girls woo'ed and I felt it was right to touch it. Hi all. We went to counseling, worked on it, moved on. We reunited with one of his friends and in conversation that came up. My husband is my best-friend and I've known him since I was 15. I love my husband and our daughters dearly. We are both 34. We have been together for 5y. That's not consenting! Getting into a car with someone is not consent, being drunk is not consent! Your husband should not be cross with you for "cheating", you both should be furious with this other man for taking advantage of you and coercing you! My heart felt congratulations. Long story short, I have a minor issue with alcohol, where I lose… Oct 7, 2021 · It lasted four months. We ended up back in my APs hotel room and had sex. I assume he must have been getting suspicious because he's never done that. I wasn't super drunk, I definitely knew what was going on. My wife asked me to get her another drink, but the bar was closed. I didn’t know he had done that until one day I got home and I was calling him and asking if he was almost home from work. on the other hand, YOU betrayed your ex-husband (yes, ex-husband, even if you’re still legally married, he is NOT your husband and you have zero claim over him). I thought I did but I really didn’t. I had my child only 15 months ago so being away is especially tedious. I have no recollection of leaving the bar, getting to his apartment, or what happened between us because I was so drunk and blacked out a lot of the evening. You don't love him. My husband looked unhinged while friend was telling the story. I think a lot more people have this fantasy/addiction to cheating, but keep it secret. Anyways I drove home, told my husband the same story I told my mom but I ended up telling the both of them the truth the same day. Ok, so I'm at university and this past Saturday I went out partying with my friends. Things went way to far. Also, ask him who he wants to know about your cheating. We are still together because like you, I didn’t want to raise my kids in separate homes. And I get very friendly when I'm drunk. Two weeks ago my husband was going on a week long trip to city B. Some of the cheating he did I didn’t even find out until after the separation from other sources. Stop blaming it on being drunk. Sep 28, 2016 · I absolutely love my husband and believe he is my soulmate. I call Paul, He suggest we grab drinks and watch a movie back at his place until I can get back into our apartment. To put you more into the context, me and my husband grew up near the city B, but we moved to city A that is 14 hour drive away. I was so sick when I realised. For most women I know, this is a dealbreaker level violation of trust. Eventually we started having sex and I kept on seeing him a lot. I read every single comment. They're responsible for their actions, you're responsible for yours. He started to foster safety and I had no idea what to do with that at first. I also had gotten drunk with some friends (who don’t know my bf) and kissed/slept with them. First off, it was your actions and lack of responsibility in the moment that led to you getting so intoxicated to where you behaved opposite how you would normally. Insecurity and uncertainty still raise their ugly head. I got ready to leave and he began to see that not cheating wasn't enough. I've been cheated on, cheated on someone, and been the other guy that a woman cheated with. I got way too drunk. To be honest I still haven't figured out the real reason I cheated. He insisted I go with him but I quickly excused myself and then called a cab. The coworker and I have a history and used to hook up years ago. This is going to be a long one so: TL;DR: found out that husband of 7 years who I have 3 kids with has been cheating on me since I was pregnant with our youngest, lowkey haven't reacted much and kept going like things were normal for a variety of reasons, SIL thinks it's crazy and that I should leave him, I'm now questioning the I’m 34, my husband’s 37. I have never once got so drunk I accidentally kissed a man that wasn't my husband. I (32 F) cheated on my husband (33 M) of 8 years in the back of a car parked less than a block away from my house last night I don't know what came over me but I was out drinking with my girlfriends and I got a little too tipsy and accepted a ride home from a guy I met at the bar. In this staleness, my husband became married to his work. And I have been hit on and been sale to decline. she does not owe you ANYTHING and she did nothing wrong. Your attitude has to be 'I love my husband and my daughter, bring it on!' Husband wants you to stop talking to a male friend? Bring it on. I never have thoughts, I never think about doing ANY of that. We started dating a long time after highschool and we have been married for 5 years. I saw my ex there, he's changed, looked amazing. As the publication says, I cheated on my husband with a coworker, but I must give you more context about my current situation, my affair began in mid-2019 and was discovered in the first days of January 2020. You’re the reason and it takes courage to let others know that you caused him this pain. On the surface level, the reason would be that my husband was too caught up with work for a couple of months and I felt neglected and unappreciated at times. You either know your Limit while drinking or you should face the wrongdoings you did while being drunk. I cheated on my husband and i feel like i ruined my life i was blacked out drunk visiting a friend after having a big fight with my husband and left our place even though i love him so much my friend went to sleep and suddenly i decided to meet a guy on an app and have sex with him but i do not know what i was thinking in the moment and i did it i left and i had sex with him and i felt really It was exclusively for us and hence my husband couldn't join us. She was less remorseful. About 6 months before we got married, I started having feelings of being bisexual. So I married my husband 2 years ago and it was all great until after we got married. I would ask him, “Do you think I’m cheating?” And he’d say, “No! Of course not. Jul 19, 2024 · My husband cheated on me and the affair partner called me so I could hear he was cheating on me with her. Jack didn't want to be alone all night, so he said he'd just go hangout with his stepsister (they've always been close), and they ended up going to a bar. I forgave her. It still hurts. I stopped prioritizing us and prioritized me. We were not doing anything, but we were in bed together and he could figure it out from there. I literally could not believe that I did what I did. My wife cheated on me. I told my husband as soon as I knew but at that stage he had already been integrated into the friend group. I'm crying all the time and I don't know what to do. It never will be. I haven’t drank one sip since that night. I went out with a friend last Saturday and planned to stay at her house. My (22F) partner (24F) of over a year recently cheated on me, drunk at a party, through a one night stand. She was a full time teacher as well. The guy who kissed me and his friend eventually drove my car home and my friend was not as drunk as I was so she was kind of "in charge" of how we were getting home so she let these guys take us home because she was into the friend I guess. Not once had the thought of cheating on him cross my mind. I know that doesn’t excuse my actions at all and I’m a horrible person. My wife cheated and I caught her. My fiancé agreed to meet me and found out about this last conversation we had and he was destroyed thinking I really loved him, I never for a second stopped loving my fiancé. I was recently out of the country for work and when I was checking the security alerts on my cameras I noticed the pool camera was alerting a lot after like 2am. Update - 17 November 2021. He is kind, sincere, honest, open-minded, intelligent, easy going, and humorous. You need to accept the consequences of your actions. We were both drunk when that happened and I felt like the worst human being ever the day after. Anything to keep your deluded self image of yourself intact. They are still together, it’s been ~10 years since the cheating happened and she has been been a mean zombie ever since. I messed up in the worst way possible. Cheating is a choice, plain and fucking Feb 23, 2024 · Cut off contact with the person you cheated with immediately. Throwaway because I don't want this connected to my main. Before me and my husband started dating i had a huge alcoholic addiction which i had got from my ex gf (she was my first relationship) i was gay, so usually when you are in a lesbian group they drink a lot this caused me to get addicted too. 2 weeks after we got married things quickly took a turn for the worst. Sorry for the length Allow me to preface this post by stating that my husband is perfect (to me) in every way imaginable. At first it was fun, they were dancing with us and having drinks and flirting, but as the night went on we all got very drunk and the strippers started getting frisky and we went along with it. My friends pushed over, saying it was an innocent dance. Last week, I (29F) caught my husband Jack (30M) cheating on me with his stepsister Claire (24F). Friendly.
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