“I’ll have one ambulance to go, please!”
September 26, 2022
Years ago, my Dad hung a sign with the following quote on the door leading into his office –
“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln
I wasn’t totally sure what to make of the sign and never knew if it was a warning of some type to not speak foolishly to him. I never asked him why he had that particular saying hanging on the door, but I would always smile when I read it and thought the saying was part comical and part wise. It certainly caused me to think what I was about to say as I entered Dad’s inner sanctum. I never wanted him to think of me as foolish.
At that time of my life, I did not know there was a proverb in the Bible that echoed a similar thought as the sign on my Dad’s door –
Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise;
when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent. (Proverbs 17:28)
So it appears from this verse, that silence is part of being considered wise, but does that mean we can never speak? Since Ecclesiastes 3:7b reads there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;” it is okay to speak at times, but we need discernment as to when it is best to keep silent and when it is best to speak.
Proverbs 10:19 is helpful in reminding us that when we speak a lot of words, we run the risk of committing transgressions. We need discernment as to when to restrain our lips –
When words are many, transgression is not lacking,
but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
I learned the principles of Proverbs 10:19, mostly from my Dad’s medical emergencies. Prior to my dad knowing he needed a pacemaker, he had several AFib events that required a swift trip to the hospital in order to get his heart rhythm back in sync. Every time one of these emergencies occurred, my dad did this unique thing. He would call me and ask me to drive him to the rescue squad so he could be taken to the hospital. He wouldn’t call 9-1-1 and have the rescue squad come to him. Regardless of how many conversations we had about how 9-1-1 works (he knew), and how many times I suggested that the rescue squad was not SONIC where you could drive up and order an ambulance to go, he would insist on having me drive him to rescue squad.
However, even though I thought we were being a bit foolish driving to the rescue squad, never in the midst of driving him there (yes, I did—several times), and never in the midst of uncertainty as to what was going on with his heart, did I speak about the better way to handle these events. I was silent, thinking that it was wise to not add more angst to an already tense situation, and to wait for a more appropriate time to discuss how to do it better in the future. Once he was stable, and the emergency passed, I would speak up and suggest using 9-1-1 for any possible future events.
What I learned during those harrowing trips to the rescue squad, was that anxious circumstances, not just with my Dad, are sometimes best attended by just “being” and “not speaking”. Often, at those times, there are no appropriate words to speak. But a hand held, a warm hug, or an encouraging smile can speak volumes that words spoken out loud could never utter.
Maybe, just maybe, Dad thought I was wise to do as he asked, to hold his hand and my tongue, and then drive him to order an ambulance to go! Afterwards, when we went to SONIC for a burger, we could discuss the wisdom of calling 9-1-1 if need be.